I have a severe problem with Vampires.

Posted 3 months, 2 weeks ago at 8:46 pm. 2 comments

Tags: Bram Stoker, Creeper, Creepy, Dracula, Edward Cullen, Fu Manchu, Obsession, Stephanie Meyer, Vampire

Edward Cullen. Now, I’ve explained my opinions of this in a previous post, but I don’t think I did it justice.

First of all, there’s the obvious issue of Pedophilia. He’s over one Hundred years old. She’s sixteen. Now, most girls I know wouldn’t like a hundred-year-old no matter what he looked like. In real life, he would probably still act like a grandfather even though he still looks like the golden-haired pretty-boy of the eleventh grade. Then, there’s the necrophilia issue. He shows all signs of life, but his cells do not divide, he does not age, his heart does not beat, and he is technically a walking corpse. Next, He drinks blood to stay young. No matter how you turn that one, it’s creepy.

Next up, Dracula. He has the same issues as one Mr. Cullen, but my main problem with him is the fact that he’s always painted as a romantic character, even though he’s the villain of the story. He sneaks into the bedrooms of sleeping girls and drinks their blood as they sleep in their beds. Why does everyone think Dracula is this sexy, clean-shaven man in a cape with dark hair? In the actual story, he was a middle-aged to elderly man (depending on the point in the book) with a receding hairline around the temples, unnaturally thin with unnatural features and a White Fu Manchu Mustache. 

I don’t understand why people think Vampires are attractive. If you saw someone on the street behaving like that, you’d have one hand on your pepperspray and the other dialing the local police to report a suspicious character. Don’t even get me started on how people would react if you saw them in an airport. 

Not to mention that as a rule, Vampires (supernatural ones, at least), as a rule, are soulless. That’s why you can’t see them in a mirror or on film. (sorry, science. You can’t convince me that it isn’t light reflecting off the mirror or through the film, I’m sure it’s the soul thing.)